Death.

Yesterday, I woke up and the first FB status I saw, when I checked FB, was that of a dear friend of mine telling me that a mutual friend of ours had died.  She was in her forties, which is to say, our age.  My friend had been much better friends than I had, but we'd both lost touch years ago, and it hit me very, very hard.

Most of the rest of the day wasn't better, since I spent most of it either crying or on the verge of tears and the world kept deciding to intrude, yesterday.  I kept sort of almost coping.

Yesterday was also my roommate's birthday party, so I was aware that I was going to have to be social.  And right as I was getting dressed for that, my sister called and reminded me that today was her best friend's birthday.  (That's my sister's gentle reminder that today is the anniversary of my mom's death.)  My mom died 13 or 14 years ago, I've lost track.  But probably because of Stephanie, it's hitting me exceptionally hard, today, so if you me and I don't answer, or call me and it goes to voice mail, that's why.  I'm not looking for sympathy and hugs, either, it's just that I have a thought process going on and it's not comfortable.

On the plus side, last night, I had a REALLY good time.  I saw people I love, and I had an entire two drinks and sips of others.  (For you people who know me, you know I'm an extreme lightweight, so that's sort of unprecedented.  It also made me pretty damned tipsy.  But I was sober before bed, so no hangover.)